So, it’s been almost two months since my last post. And for that I am sorry. Life has gotten in the way a bit and I want to try to be better at posting here.
The problem is that I lost motivation. Motivation for a lot of things. And that’s OK. Sometimes we just need to take a step back, get some breathing space, and return when we’re ready. This applies to a lot of things in life, and we shouldn’t be afraid to admit we need a break from something.
The worst thing for me was that I lost motivation for writing in general. This was devastating because writing has always been a form of escape for me, just like reading was. I already lost my capacity to read the amount I had used to through reading history at university. After a day of reading through several different history books, the last thing I wanted to do was to come home and read. And now, for whatever reason, I had lost my capacity to sit down every single day and write.
I tried many things. Taking a break from my current project and focusing on another. Trying to focus more on my blog and non-fiction writing. Trying to give myself a break from writing in general in the hope I would rush back to it. But still I had lost the motivation to rewrite Defiant. Or even write at all.
Recently I have been getting back into it, bit by bit. After completely failing at Camp NaNoWriMo with a new project intended to take my mind off Defiant, at least I had gained one thing: a renewed interest in Defiant. The more I worked on this new project, the more I wanted to go back to Defiant. So, eventually, I gave in and abandoned the new project, going back to the drawing board for Defiant as more and more ideas for the rewrite began flooding in.
It’s been slow going. The majority of the story arc is remaining the same. The big moments remain – but the route they get there may change. I’m allowing myself the freedom of seeing where the characters wish to go now with the changes made. Sticking resolutely to my plan had not been working, so now I’m trying it this way. And it is somewhat working so far. But we’ll see how it goes.
This time I have decided to write by hand. I feel it disconnects me from the previous draft so I am forced to write it anew without being able to pull up the first draft alongside it with the click of a button. Holding on to your old words will do you no good. And so far it has done me a disservice. I have been trying for just over a year to rewrite Defiant and have had no joy yet. But I am making progress now, small as it is. And hopefully I can continue on this way.
Another essential thing is discipline. This is something I am trying to learn. To get back into my old routine of sitting down to write everyday. Accountability can really help in this. A friend who will hold you responsible if you do not make your self-imposed deadlines. This will motivate you to be disciplined enough to do what you say you will, for should you not there will be consequences.
I hope to get back to a posting schedule on here and I am starting with this one. I intend to go back to my Saturday posts so I shall see you next Saturday.